Script

SIDE 1

Hi& I m really happy for you.

(SERENA looks at him  confused.)

Myers posted the cast list for the show  looks like you ll be playing Juliet.
 

Me? Are you serious? Oh, my God!! You are serious! I don t believe it! Juliet! I m playing Juliet. As in  Romeo and. My parents are gonna plotz!

(jumping on him, then composing herself)
Nick& Look, I m sorry about last year  throwing myself at you like that. I was so immature. But this year, I plan to be much more focused on the work.
 

Serena, I m not angry, really. In fact, I care more about you than anyone else in this school.
 

You do?
 

Yeah, I do.
 

Good. Then we can be friends offstage and boyfriend and girlfriend on.
 

Well Serena, I m not Romeo. I ve been cast as Mercutio.

(NICK grabs his wounded gut with one hand, overly theatrical:)
 A plague on both your houses! They have made worms meat of me.
 

You already know your lines?
 

I ve been doing Shakespeare since I was in grade school. See you at rehearsal.

(NICK exits. SERENA calls after him.)
 

Wait a minute. If Nick s playing Mercutio, who s playing Romeo?
 

(from offstage)
Nooooooooo!!

(JOE enters and crosses the stage.)

What is this? I ll kill him! I swear, I ll kill him! He knows I hate Shakespeare. Why did he do it? The dude hates me!

(JOE exits ad libbing in Spanish.)

He s my Romeo? Oy vey!

SIDE 2

 Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hands too much Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrim s hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmer s kiss.
 

Yo! Julie baby! Have not saint s lips, and holy palmers, too, Mamacita!?
 

Wait a minute! What s with the ad libs?
 

I m drawin from my own experience, okay?
 

But Romeo wasn t born in the Bronx.
 

Right!

(to MR. MYERS)
So what am I doin here?
 

I cast you in this role so you could stretch yourself.
 

Mr. Myers, I ain t gonna cut it. You gotta replace me.
 

You re too busy thinking about yourself. You should be concentrating on the beautiful girl standing right in front of you.
 

(miffed)
Excuse me. Why, may I ask, are you butting in?

I want to help.

Who needs help?

We do! We do! Sir Lawrence, knock yourself out.

(JOE takes a seat as NICK gets up.)

mean, think about it. Romeo and Juliet grew up in the same small town. They may have seen each other every day of their lives. But on this night, this special night& it s as if he s seeing her for the very first time.

(SERENA is starting to catch the special meaning in NICK s words.)

Maybe it would make more sense if I showed you.

Yeah& maybe it would.

(taking her hand)
 O! Then dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

 Saints do not move, though grant for prayer s sake.

 Then move not, while my prayer s effect I take. Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.

(NICK stares at her. The CLASS bursts into applause, whistles and catcalls.)

Let s see a show of hands. How many of you  believe this Romeo?