Script

SIDE 1

TOM

You want the TV? Take the TV. The TV's yours. Just leave me alone.

GEORGE

Relax, Tom. We're just different parts of you. We are all the ideas in your head.

DINA

And not just us, Tom. Do you realize how many ideas you have in your head? Just look around you.

ALL (EXCEPT TOM)

(to audience, ad-lib greetings)

Hi. Hello. (etc.)

(TOM looks around and sees the audience for the first time.)

TOM

I don't understand this!

SHULIE

Don't you see, Tom? We're every person you've ever met.

(SHULIE removes Tom's robe, revealing Tom's work clothes.)

JOE

We're every place you've ever been.

DORI

We're every thing you've ever known!

SHULIE

Feel better?

TOM

No.

JOE

You look great!

END

 

SIDE 2

GEORGE

Well, Tom, buddy - we've been here long enough. You've got a big day ahead of you. We've gotta go.

TOM

What? You can't leave yet. There are so many songs we haven't done yet. Like...

(sings)

ELECTRICITY, E - LECTRICITY!

SHULIE

Hey, Tom, that really is the end. We've got to get back to where we came from... just like Janet here. Right, Janet?

JANET

Right, Shulie!

DINA

You are going to make a great teacher, Tom. Good luck!

END

 

SIDE 3

SHULIE

Do you think we'll ever colonize on the moon someday?

DINA

There's a whole universe of possibilities.

TOM

And my students are the ones who are gonna take us there. Wow, that's a great song. It reminds me of when I was a kid. I used to love riding on trains.

DINA

Well, have you ever traveled by plane?

TOM

Yes.

DINA

Have you ever traveled by boat?

TOM

Yes.

DINA

How about by spaceship?

TOM

I don't know anyone who has ever traveled in space.

SHULIE

I know someone who has!

END

 

SIDE 4

JOE

Criminy, George, that one just plum wore me out.

TOM

That was a really fun song!

DORI

And?

TOM

And it was very informative.

DINA

But?

TOM

But it wore me out a bit.

SHULIE

Or?

TOM

Or, hey, what's up with all the conjunctions?

DORI, DINA, SHULIE

You tell us, Tom.

END